Is That A Threat Or A Promise?

So the Federal Government might shut down. 

Well, no, probably not forever.  Sorry to get your hopes up.  But I wonder what would happen if the government really did shut down, just for one day...

The total estimated expenditures for the Federal Government for fiscal year 2011 total 3.82 trillion dollars.  Let's break it down:

$3,820,000,000,000 divided by 365 days = $10,465,753,424

Huh.  Really?  Our government spends over $10 billion PER DAY?  Is that what the taxpayers will save, then, if there's a shutdown?  If we divide that number by 308 million (the total US population), it would mean that for each day the government is shut down, every man, woman, and child in the country should receive a $34 tax credit! 

What?  Is that not how it works? 

Obama's spending request for fiscal year 2012 is $3.729 trillion.  The controversial GOP budget proposal for 2012 is $3.5 trillion.  Big whoop, only $229 billion saved. 

But if the federal government shuts down for two days each month during fiscal year 2012, we can save MORE than the GOP is proposing, without cutting a single program (24 days x $10.4 billion = $249 billion).

So I vote for that.  Happy furlough!  

The CIA and Facebook

From The Onion News Network comes an encouraging report about how our government is SAVING money for a change! 

And there's also some bad news...


CIA's 'Facebook' Program Dramatically Cut Agency's Costs

Missileading

Hey - Anybody care to guess the price of a Tomahawk Cruise Missile?

Oh, I'm sorry, let me clarify - I was talking about US dollars.  I hope no one wasted any time contemplating the intrinsic sacred value of human life. 

In US dollars each Tomahawk Cruise Missile costs $1,410,000. 

This is slightly off topic, but I just want to point out that defense contractor Raytheon, the company that builds the Tomahawk and puts that 1.41 million dollar price tag on it, has been accused of the following crimes:  illegally obtaining classified Air Force and (in a separate incident) Pentagon documents, misleading Congress regarding the success of the Patriot Missile during and after the 1991 Gulf War, inflating defense contracts for antimissile radar, misleading the Defense Department by overstating labor costs, attempting to bribe members of the Brazilian Government, spying on and stealing documents from another firm that Raytheon was bidding against, issuing false and misleading statements about revenues (which lead to a class action lawsuit), plagiarism, testing weapons on prisoners, and several lawsuits involving ground water contamination.

But I'm sure they're being honest with regards to the dollar value of the Tomahawk Missile.

Next question:  How many of these $1,410,000 missiles has our government dropped on Libya this week?

At least 161 missiles.  Shall we do the math?

I came up with $227,010,000.  Wow.  That's more than a QUARTER OF A BILLION DOLLARS!  And that's just over the course of five or six days! 

Seems like a lot of money, huh?  But I'm glad we did it!  The Libyan Government was assaulting protesters!  It was awful!  Just check out this horrific video:

Oops - Wrong video.  My bad.  Good thing Muammar Gaddafi didn't see that!  He might have decided to impose a no-fly zone over Pittsburgh!

We're not really spending hundreds of millions of dollars to ensure that the citizens of Libya have the right to assemble, though, are we?

Yoo-hoo!  British Petroleum!  I'm writing my next post about you!

Impeach 'em All, Let God* Sort 'em Out!

Once again, the Daily Show seems to be the only "news" outlet to openly question the legality and morality of our illustrious military** bombarding yet another sovereign nation.  Thanks, Jon!

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Odyssey Dawn - Unconstitutional War
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor & Satire Blog The Daily Show on Facebook

And thanks again to Dennis Kucinich, who somehow managed to get elected to Congress despite his obvious patriotism, intelligence, and sense of duty.  Weird.

Do you think that Joe Biden's 2007 threat to impeach Bush for going to war without Congressional approval was a brilliant tactic to set himself up to assume the Presidency four years later?  That guy's a freakin' genius! 


* And by "God" I mean Asherah.

** And by "illustrious military" I mean this guy:

Cpl. Jeremy Morlock of Wasilla, Alaska, shown here representing YOU in Afghanistan.  Here's his Facebook page if you'd like to let him know what you think about the job he's been doing.