From The Onion News Network comes an encouraging report about how our government is SAVING money for a change!
And there's also some bad news...
CIA's 'Facebook' Program Dramatically Cut Agency's Costs
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
Missileading
Hey - Anybody care to guess the price of a Tomahawk Cruise Missile?
Oh, I'm sorry, let me clarify - I was talking about US dollars. I hope no one wasted any time contemplating the intrinsic sacred value of human life.
In US dollars each Tomahawk Cruise Missile costs $1,410,000.
This is slightly off topic, but I just want to point out that defense contractor Raytheon, the company that builds the Tomahawk and puts that 1.41 million dollar price tag on it, has been accused of the following crimes: illegally obtaining classified Air Force and (in a separate incident) Pentagon documents, misleading Congress regarding the success of the Patriot Missile during and after the 1991 Gulf War, inflating defense contracts for antimissile radar, misleading the Defense Department by overstating labor costs, attempting to bribe members of the Brazilian Government, spying on and stealing documents from another firm that Raytheon was bidding against, issuing false and misleading statements about revenues (which lead to a class action lawsuit), plagiarism, testing weapons on prisoners, and several lawsuits involving ground water contamination.
But I'm sure they're being honest with regards to the dollar value of the Tomahawk Missile.
Next question: How many of these $1,410,000 missiles has our government dropped on Libya this week?
At least 161 missiles. Shall we do the math?
I came up with $227,010,000. Wow. That's more than a QUARTER OF A BILLION DOLLARS! And that's just over the course of five or six days!
Seems like a lot of money, huh? But I'm glad we did it! The Libyan Government was assaulting protesters! It was awful! Just check out this horrific video:
Oops - Wrong video. My bad. Good thing Muammar Gaddafi didn't see that! He might have decided to impose a no-fly zone over Pittsburgh!
We're not really spending hundreds of millions of dollars to ensure that the citizens of Libya have the right to assemble, though, are we?
Yoo-hoo! British Petroleum! I'm writing my next post about you!
Oh, I'm sorry, let me clarify - I was talking about US dollars. I hope no one wasted any time contemplating the intrinsic sacred value of human life.
In US dollars each Tomahawk Cruise Missile costs $1,410,000.
This is slightly off topic, but I just want to point out that defense contractor Raytheon, the company that builds the Tomahawk and puts that 1.41 million dollar price tag on it, has been accused of the following crimes: illegally obtaining classified Air Force and (in a separate incident) Pentagon documents, misleading Congress regarding the success of the Patriot Missile during and after the 1991 Gulf War, inflating defense contracts for antimissile radar, misleading the Defense Department by overstating labor costs, attempting to bribe members of the Brazilian Government, spying on and stealing documents from another firm that Raytheon was bidding against, issuing false and misleading statements about revenues (which lead to a class action lawsuit), plagiarism, testing weapons on prisoners, and several lawsuits involving ground water contamination.
But I'm sure they're being honest with regards to the dollar value of the Tomahawk Missile.
Next question: How many of these $1,410,000 missiles has our government dropped on Libya this week?
At least 161 missiles. Shall we do the math?
I came up with $227,010,000. Wow. That's more than a QUARTER OF A BILLION DOLLARS! And that's just over the course of five or six days!
Seems like a lot of money, huh? But I'm glad we did it! The Libyan Government was assaulting protesters! It was awful! Just check out this horrific video:
Oops - Wrong video. My bad. Good thing Muammar Gaddafi didn't see that! He might have decided to impose a no-fly zone over Pittsburgh!
We're not really spending hundreds of millions of dollars to ensure that the citizens of Libya have the right to assemble, though, are we?
Yoo-hoo! British Petroleum! I'm writing my next post about you!
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Impeach 'em All, Let God* Sort 'em Out!
Once again, the Daily Show seems to be the only "news" outlet to openly question the legality and morality of our illustrious military** bombarding yet another sovereign nation. Thanks, Jon!
And thanks again to Dennis Kucinich, who somehow managed to get elected to Congress despite his obvious patriotism, intelligence, and sense of duty. Weird.
Do you think that Joe Biden's 2007 threat to impeach Bush for going to war without Congressional approval was a brilliant tactic to set himself up to assume the Presidency four years later? That guy's a freakin' genius!
* And by "God" I mean Asherah.
** And by "illustrious military" I mean this guy:
Cpl. Jeremy Morlock of Wasilla, Alaska, shown here representing YOU in Afghanistan. Here's his Facebook page if you'd like to let him know what you think about the job he's been doing.
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Odyssey Dawn - Unconstitutional War | ||||
| ||||
And thanks again to Dennis Kucinich, who somehow managed to get elected to Congress despite his obvious patriotism, intelligence, and sense of duty. Weird.
Do you think that Joe Biden's 2007 threat to impeach Bush for going to war without Congressional approval was a brilliant tactic to set himself up to assume the Presidency four years later? That guy's a freakin' genius!
* And by "God" I mean Asherah.
** And by "illustrious military" I mean this guy:
Cpl. Jeremy Morlock of Wasilla, Alaska, shown here representing YOU in Afghanistan. Here's his Facebook page if you'd like to let him know what you think about the job he's been doing.
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